A year after..

It’s almost been a year since my dad left.

So many things have changed and happened in a year. To my family, my circumstances, and myself.

I can’t say that I’m over the sorrow yet, but I can say that I’m not mourning anymore.

I still miss him so much and I’m longing for his presence, now, here, with us.

I miss his joke, I miss his laugh, I miss his hug, I miss his wisdom, I miss his genius thoughts, I miss his kind eyes.

He was a great dad, an all-in-one dad.

He’s my walking encyclopedia, my doctor, my healer, my tutor, my friend, and now he’s my saint.

I couldn’t forgive myself for not being a really good daughter. I hadn’t made him proud of me enough. And I hadn’t do good things to him, I didn’t even had time to serve and nurse him when he was sick. I wasn’t there. Yes, I wasn’t there when he left. It might be the biggest regret in my life. And it became a wound that cannot be cured in my heart.

A year after he left..

I’m still trying to cover the wound and wipe the tears.

I survived, I’m still running my life.

I live his dreams in my own dreams.

I know it’s not the best but I will keep on trying.

After he left..

I know that he’s not going anywhere.

He stays here.

He stays in my heart.