Wednesday, December 8, 2010

A year after..

It’s almost been a year since my dad left.
So many things have changed and happened in a year. To my family, my circumstances, and myself.
I can’t say that I’m over the sorrow yet, but I can say that I’m not mourning anymore.
I still miss him so much and I’m longing for his presence, now, here, with us.
I miss his joke, I miss his laugh, I miss his hug, I miss his wisdom, I miss his genius thoughts, I miss his kind eyes.
He was a great dad, an all-in-one dad.
He’s my walking encyclopedia, my doctor, my healer, my tutor, my friend, and now he’s my saint.


I couldn’t forgive myself for not being a really good daughter. I hadn’t made him proud of me enough. And I hadn’t do good things to him, I didn’t even had time to serve and nurse him when he was sick. I wasn’t there. Yes, I wasn’t there when he left. It might be the biggest regret in my life. And it became a wound that cannot be cured in my heart.
A year after he left..
I’m still trying to cover the wound and wipe the tears.
I survived, I’m still running my life.
I live his dreams in my own dreams.
I know it’s not the best but I will keep on trying.
After he left..
I know that he’s not going anywhere.
He stays here.
He stays in my heart.

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